Behind the Scenes: My TEDx Talk, Tech Difficulties & Surrender

When I walked on stage to give my TEDx talk, I had to walk right back off 30 seconds later. 🙈

I'd started to give my talk, and the tech wasn't working. The microphone was off, and my slides weren't turning...

People hurriedly motioned to come back behind stage.

I turned toward the audience and said loudly, "Okay, I'll be back!" People laughed, and I departed.

This might sound vomit-inducing, but somehow... I felt relieved.

As people hastily took lapels off me and put new ones on, apologizing profusely and yelling "DOES MIC 4 WORK NOW?!, TESTING TESTING," I simply stood there, floating above my body with a smile on my face.

I remember repeating, "It's okay," and feeling all of my nerves whoosh out of me into a space of peace.

I had begun once, and now I got to begin again.

For one of the first times, the only voice I heard was saying: "The audience is on your side." They weren't against me, they were with me. This is just life, and it happens.

When I walked back on stage, I said, "Hello, I'm back!" People clapped, and I began again.

Beginning again and again is what it's felt like I've been doing these past few years—thinking I have it figured out, and then needing to start over again.

But in 2019 I have worked and played my way to a deeper knowledge and acceptance of all the ways of being I hold inside myself—and all of the things I'm capable of.

I am in love with my life in a way I've never been before, and a lot of that comes from the realization that my journey has always revolved around immersive experiences—whether they're for myself, with others, or for others.

My life is and always has been weird and whimsical, intense and intentional.

I have always studied, pursued and felt taken by visceral, the embodied and the connective.

With this talk, I get to give voice to that.

This is my first TEDx talk, and it is super meaningful to me. (Note: And it’s now on TED.com, which is a hella honor.)

It's about experience design, and how experiences that transport, transmute and transgress are pathways to how we can more deeply open our hearts to others.

If you felt inspired by it, I’d love to hear that! It gives me life. :)